MEMORIAL DAY

As we observe Memorial Day 2025 in an increasingly divided country, will this day be a day of unity, representing something bigger than all of us?  We can’t change the past.  We know we could have always been better, done better.   Let’s reflect on the why of this day of observance and the broader purpose, not the 24/7 news cycle but rather what this day was set aside for and what it means to our imperfect nation.
 
There have been periods of time where the meaning, and I think the relevancy of Memorial Day was lost, caught up in the hot topic of the day.  Memorial Day commemorates the sacrifices in meaningful, important periods in our nation’s history (armed conflicts).   The Civil War, WWI, and WWII were directly tied to our nation's survival.  These events directly affected virtually every single American. At the time, in that time, the good guys won. Everyone could agree on that.  Later, some questioned and second-guessed some of the decisions made, and if we really were the good guys. 

As time passed, our ultimately unpopular involvement in Korea and Vietnam was deemed unsuccessful in many minds. To most Americans, these conflicts did not have the nation's survival at stake. So many did not consider the sacrifice (both in terms of human life- ours and our enemy’s in some cases), let alone our treasure, was worth it.   This turned into political turmoil, with soldiers and veterans caught in the middle.

I believe part of it was frustration that the greatest nation on earth didn’t win quickly and resolve it. How could we win WWII and not beat tiny North Korea or a bunch of unorganized guerrillas in Vietnam?  I think people thought that somehow our soldiers had changed and, in many ways, did not represent us, or the best in us, anymore.  How else could we explain the failure?

I will say unequivocally that soldiers and their values hadn’t changed, but many people’s perceptions of them did. And so, the American people moved on. Even the horrors and sacrifices tended to be put out of our forefront. The veterans keep their experiences to themselves. They either wouldn’t or, in most cases, couldn’t talk about them, and if they did, people who had not been there just could not fathom it. Some tried to relate, some even empathized – but they simply could not understand. They say the mind cannot truly recreate actual pain–  physical or mental.  If it could, and when it does, that is when people go insane.  So, it was and is impossible to explain it to others- therefore, they quit trying.   Many did not want to be reminded, and the vets hoped to forget, but you can’t.
 
I had a step great Uncle, my first stepdad’s uncle.  I didn’t know much about him except he seemed to make a good living with his plumbing company, and never missed mass on Sunday.  Every other moment, it seemed, he was at the VFW, which is where we often found him, quite drunk.  One day, over at his house, when I asked about a sword sitting in the corner of his house, he was already into about a case of Carling Black Label beer by then, he told me it was a “Jap sword,” and that he was in the 1st Marine division and had been at Guadalcanal, Cape Gloucester, and Peleliu. He told me about “grabbing a Jap officer by the belt and literally pulling the belt with the sword, through his decomposed body.”  No one wrote, and there weren’t movies that depicted how brutal combat really was, how it changed you.  I’d read about those places in school and saw movies about them, but nothing like the story Uncle Lawrence told me matched any of that.  It took me a long time to understand the life Uncle Lawrence lead, and why he was the way he was, but I do now. We moved on to another stepdad, and I lost track of him.  I heard his liver finally quit, and he died at age 55.  Some, who don’t understand, may think the VFW and his drinking buddies was the problem.  I thank God for the VFW and the men he drank with, men who understood the sacrifice of those who didn’t come home. 

I think that was very much the case in 1976 when I was graduating high school in Avon Lake, Ohio. The Vietnam War didn’t personally touch me. In fact, it didn’t personally touch anyone in Avon Lake.  Some guys in neighboring towns were killed over there, and you could find a mention in the paper if you read all the paper, but it certainly was not an event that gathered interest and attention. As a matter of fact, Vietnam and Korean veterans were often not made to feel welcome in even many of our veterans’ organizations, let alone mainstream America.

There were opportunities for me and my peers when we graduated.  I think I could have played college football, except for one thing– I wasn’t any good.  Because of money, college was not an option, but it also was not a big deal to go to college.  We had U.S. Steel, Ford Motor Company, etc.  Lots of people spent their entire lives there and lived comfortably.  They were still hiring in my part of the state. Even Cleveland was still growing to meet the labor demand.  But, I went into the service- the Army.

Later in my career, I was often asked why I joined the military, the Army. I would always correct them and let them know I did not join the Army- I went into the service. I think that is a significant change that happened, again slowly, but came with the advent of the all-volunteer force. The professional force served, and they are sometimes still referred to as service members, but the meaning has changed.  It is no longer looked at as a sacrifice.

But I really never had a good answer for why I joined. It was just what I and many others like me, including my future wife, did where I grew up. You went to school, and you went into the service when you graduated. My stepdad did, my uncles did, and the generation before that did. You served your hitch, then you came back, went to school, or got a job somewhere– and you got on with your life. There was just an unspoken expectation that it was important to serve.  The service was not about learning a skill or becoming financially secure, because we were still paid “draftee” salary even though we were now a “professional” force. Nobody went in with the idea that it would be a career, some officers, yes, but not the rank and file.

So, what did Memorial Day mean to me when I joined? I can tell you it meant that the pool was going to open, as well as the amusement parks at Geauga Lake and Cedar Point. There were no celebrations or remembrances that drew crowds. I am sure the VFW and the Legion had events, but those were “private.” There were not, not that I can recall anyway, any TV specials or big spreads in the Lorain Journal.  No all day war movies on Turner Classic TV.  I just don’t recall it being a revered and solemn day.  It was just a day that marked the start of summer.

This was also a time when you were not encouraged, and in many cases forbidden, to wear your uniform off post in public. You didn’t wear your uniform home on leave.  It was not common to even be married in uniform. Brenda and I were married in 1978, when I was now a SGT in the best, most elite organization in the Army, the Rangers, and it never crossed my mind to wear my uniform.  My uncles, my father-in-law, the men in my family- no one asked why are you not wearing your uniform. These men were all Korean and Vietnam vets.

But things slowly started to change, really in the early 1980s. Most of the highest leadership in the military and the politicians that were connected in some way to the war in Vietnam had moved on.  The military started to be looked at as a “career” where you could live a decent life and learn job skills that would transfer, but it wasn’t a place that you thought about getting killed.  It wasn’t billed as a place where sacrifice was discussed.   It became “the military,” something you joined.  Inside, it was still “the service,” but it was not looked at like that by the American public.

President Reagan boldly told us we were strong and we were good and that there was evil in the world. He told the Soviets to “tear down the wall,” no more compromise.  He literally put our money where his mouth was for the first time since the end of WWII. He put our ineptness of Vietnam, the Bay of Pigs, and the failed Iranian hostage rescue mission behind us. He invaded Grenada to show the Cubans we were still in charge. He started paying the military a wage that started attracting quality people.  But I think the major event in bringing back the memory and importance of Memorial Day happened on June 6th, 1984. President Reagan went to Pointe du Hoc in Normandy and revived our pride and accomplishments.

He said:  “The Rangers looked up and saw the enemy soldiers on the edge of the cliffs shooting down at them with machine guns and throwing grenades.  And the American Rangers began to climb. They shot rope ladders over the face of these cliffs and began to pull themselves up. When one Ranger fell, another would take his place. When one rope was cut, a Ranger would grab another and begin his climb again. They climbed, shot back, and held their footing. Soon, one by one, the Rangers pulled themselves over the top, and in seizing the firm land at the top of these cliffs, they began to seize back the continent of Europe. Two hundred and twenty-five came here. After two days of fighting, only 90 could still bear arms. Behind me is a memorial that symbolizes the Ranger daggers that were thrust into the top of these cliffs. And before me are the men who put them there. These are the boys of Pointe du Hoc. These are the men who took the cliffs. These are the champions who helped free a continent. These are the heroes who helped end a war.”

He continued: “We in America have learned bitter lessons from two world wars: it is better to be here ready to protect the peace than to take blind shelter across the sea, rushing to respond only after freedom is lost. We've learned that isolationism never was and never will be an acceptable response to tyrannical governments with an expansionist intent”. 

Those men, the bravest of the brave, cried in public, and we cried with them, and at the same time, we regained our strength and pride.  We started wearing our uniforms in public again. We took pride in the men and women who fought the Vietnam War.  Vietnam vet license plates and hats became popular.  Former service members started putting it on their resumes that they had served.  My uncle Pat was one of them.  Heck, now we have a problem with people that were not vets, pretending to be!  We overthrew an evil dictator in Panama.  We freed the tiny country of Kuwait.  The wall fell.  Then, 9/11 happened.  It brought all of us together.  It was another event that, at least figuratively, affected every American.  Now, in hindsight, many Americans are not sure our Global War of Terrorism was done right, or was right at all.  Luckily, the veterans, for the most part, did not and do not feel the effects of what many considered political decisions. 

Our commitments to the Middle East, Europe, the Pacific,  and many other places continue. We do not all agree with the need, the desired outcome, or the politics of these engagements.  We left Iraq, and then went back.  Then we “pulled out” of Afghanistan with disastrous results, or so it seems today.  Many asked or are asking, was it worth it?  Many asked the same question after “stalemate” in Korea, “losing” Vietnam, the Dominican Republic, the Mayaguez Incident, Beirut, Eagle Claw, Grenada, Panama, Colombia, and so many others.  My answer is yes.  What would those places, and the world, be like today if we didn’t “go to help?”  I, and nobody, knows the answer to that.  But go to South Korea, let alone Japan, and see Asia, the Dominican Republic, Grenada, Panama, and Colombia today. Yes, you can go to those places, even take your family and buy a Big Mac if you want.  Even Lebanon appears to be finally fed up and changing. What will Afghanistan and Iraq be like in 2050? We don’t know, but we know it won’t be like it was on 9/11 or today.  We do know the best predictor of the future is the past.  So, the odds are it will be much different than it is today.  We all recognize the best way to lead is from the front and by example.  However, any leader will tell you the path was rocky, unknown, and we made plenty of mistakes- but our intentions were pure, so we made it better for others, even though there were some ugly times. We all agree that the values of the soldiers serving today haven’t changed from those who served at Point du Hoc….We all agree they deserve our support.

Let’s hope this Memorial Day the focus remains on the sacrifice of those who gave their lives and on the families and friends and comrades in arms who lost loved ones.  

As we head into Memorial Day, do not thank a vet for their service. This day is for the ones who died during their service.  I also say it is a day to celebrate the fallen. I believe they died so we can be free to have cookouts, drink beers, open your pool for the summer, go camping, or whatever else you do here in America on this or any other weekend. Just remember, at some point during your fun that people did die, and families and friends lost loved ones for these freedoms in service to others, then go back to having fun- that is what they would want!

For you veterans out there, Memorial Day is when we can open that secured door to be with those guys who were on our left and right.   That’s what Memorial Day has always been about.

RLTW!

mike